When I am with my clients, I am AMERICA'S MOST HONEST LAWYER. When I am in court, I WILL LIE TO ANYONE. That's the Pablo Arbuckle Difference™. Here are some photos to make you feel CONFIDENT that I am a lawyer/attorney (they mean the same thing). I am not any of the men in these photos, but I am a man.
Pablo Arbuckle is scum. Absolute scum. But I'll tell you this much, cowboy – he's a damn slick customer.
When I sent lots of children to an island with no adults, Pablo Arbuckle made the federal child endangerment case go away. I don't know how he did it. And I don't want to know.
PABLO ARBUCKLE YOU SON OF A BITCH I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS SEE YOU IN HELL TRAITOR
I offer pretty much all the legal services. Ask anybody.
I will negotiate contracts. I will also find and tear up all extant copies of any contract for a FEE
I can make problems go away by making others very scared
I'll go down to the courthouse and yell at everybody so YOU don't have to
Just by hiring me, you have a 98% chance of a mistrial because I know all the MISTAKES that judges HATE
I absolutely LOVE divorces
If you are a law firm representing a company who doesn't get sued enough to get you PAID, you can pay ME to SUE YOUR CLIENT and then you can beat me in court and make your client think you are GOOD at your JOB
I, Pablo Arbuckle, have many clients, but they are SECRET, so DON'T ASK, okay?
Email me your problem and I will solve it, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
You are probably wondering what makes me different from other lawyers. The main thing is that I am UNTOUCHABLE because I am currently in jail, and will be forever. That also puts me in the unique position to COMMIT CRIMES for YOU because I cannot be put any further in jail than I already am.
I am not a team. I am one man. That's why this is the Law OFFICE of Pablo Arbuckle, not offices. I only have ONE office because I am in JAIL.
I do not have a photo of me available because the SECRET PRISON PHONE I am using to make this website does not have a working camera. But I look kind of like this man, the actor Paul Giamatti.
Call me on my bad prison phone or find me in jail. Visiting hours available on the jail website but you have to look that up for yourself.